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Conflict Coaching

Conflict Coaching begins with an understanding that for each of us conflict is inevitable and rather than it being a 'bad thing', it is an opportunity for learning, connection and insight.

What is Conflict Coaching?

Conflict coaching is a way used to support people's ability to engage in, manage or productively resolve conflict. The coach works one-to-one with the person experiencing conflict. Conflict coaching enables the person to talk about the conflict with a neutral third party (the conflict coach), consider options for managing the conflict, and design an approach to the conflict that may or may not involve the person they are in conflict with.

Conflict coaching helps people to explore possible ways of resolving their difficulty, look at ways in which they might resolve their situation even if the other person in the conflict did not wish to participate in a conflict resolution process.

The purpose of Conflict Coaching is to support the person to make new decisions, create new perspectives and learn and practice new ways of responding to their situation.

When Can Conflict Coaching Help?

Conflict coaching can be useful in a variety of circumstances, including conflicts in the workplace, community disputes, family disagreements or business conflicts.

An entrenched, unresolved conflict is characterised by the phrase 'If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always got'.

Where the person with the conflict is open to considering that their own responses may not be the best they can be in a situation, Conflict Coaching can provide a powerful support on their journey to discover better ways forward, for themselves and for the situation they are finding difficult.

Even where the 'cause' of the difficulty is considered to be solely due to someone else, Conflict Coaching can be an option for example where the individual wants to find more self-supporting responses to the behaviour of the other.

Conflict Coaching offers individuals who are experiencing stress, emotional or health difficulties as a result of unresolved conflict and who are open to the possibility that they may be able to create other ways of responding that may be more self-supporting and constructive, the chance to do just that.

If the person decides that they need to have a conversation with the other person, the conflict coach can help them prepare by way of looking at what gets in the way of having useful conversations, what messages they want to give, and what will make the discussion constructive for both of them. In this way, the person will enter the conflict resolution discussion more prepared and with more confidence.

What Does The Coach Do?

The conflict coach serves as a confidential listener, helps the person to explore the situation from a number of different angles, supports them in considering their options and helps them come up with a plan of action to deal with the conflict.

It is the person being coached , not the Conflict Coach that is responsible for the outcome. The conflict coach uses processes and skills to help the person develop more clarity about the situation, enabling them to effectively and confidently make decisions to manage the conflict.

The coach will enable the client to reflect on their difficult situation or unresolved conflict, and their responses to it, in order to help them create different ways of responding that support them in dealing with it more constructively and more effectively. The sessions explore how the person is responding to their present situation rather than explore any personal history or events in their past.

Conflict coaching is provided through 1 to 3 meetings of between 1 and 1 & 1/2 hours with a CAOS trained and experienced Conflict Coach.

The purpose of Conflict Coaching is to support a client in making new decisions, about creating new perspectives to their situation, about learning and practicing new ways of responding to their situation.

Why Is It Limited To A Maximum Of 3 Sessions?

The purpose of Conflict Coaching is to support a person in making new decisions, about creating new perspectives to their situation, about learning and practicing new ways of responding to their situation.

Having 'ongoing' Conflict Coaching can mean sessions become ways of 'offloading' stress about a situation without leading to any change. This can risk simply entrenching the difficulty rather than help the person to create change. That change may simply mean creating a different perspective without needing any external 'action'.

The limit of 3 sessions challenges the person to step out on their own to deal with what is ultimately their 'owned' difficulty - or - to actively decide that at present they do not wish to deal with the problem but can perhaps develop ways of supporting themselves within the situation as it is. Whichever they choose, the limit to the number of sessions offered is 3.

A client can return for Conflict Coaching after 6 months.

Isn't Coaching Just Another Form Of Therapy?

No, it is neither therapy nor counselling. Its purpose is to enable the person to reflect on their difficult situation or unresolved conflict, and their responses to it, in order to help them create different ways of responding that support them in dealing with it more constructively and more effectively.

There is not an ongoing 'therapeutic' relationship with the Coach and the sessions explore how the person is responding to their present situation rather than explore any personal history or events in their past. The Coach does not 'analyse' the person or give any form of diagnosis or label.

Who Are The Coaches?

The conflict Coaches are people who have trained and worked as Mediators in a range of disputes for at least one year and often much longer.

They have gone on to develop their skills in this area to become a Conflict Coach, providing one-to-one support for people experiencing some form of relationship breakdown, destructive conflict or communication difficulty.

For More About Conflict Coaching

You can contact the service by calling 07594 653530 or by giving a contact name and telephone number.

Or for more about CAOS Conflict Management visit CAOS.

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